Last night I posted on our Facebook page some encouragement for those in recovery and or PTSD, depression, and anxiety. I wish I was not familiar but after struggling with these things for over almost a quarter century I have a few thoughts on the subject. If you have been following me for any amount of time you know that I work with dogs but train humans. By reading my story you will see that the Lord used Odin to totally change the trajectory of my life from a depressed, anxious ridden, alcoholic, pill popping ex-cop riddled with PTSD to a grateful, functional (most of the time, let’s be real) human being.
Most people get a dog to fill a void, usually a loss or just a feeling that something is missing. We have all been hurt, so we treat our dog the way we wish we had been taken care of and treated. This of course is not everyone, but lots of people if they are honest. We are expecting a lot from a dog to fill this void especially without an interview, to provide something we have never had or lost.
No matter how outrageous a dog’s behavior is their owners always tell me how sweet and loving they are and that they are good boys and girls. I always say that I know. God has never made a bad one. In the natural world without humans wolves and dogs would be born into a litter. Mom, the first and best pack leader they will ever know cleans them, nurses them, corrects them and otherwise watches over them in a confined environment until they are ready to follow her on the hunt. They interact with their siblings and learn their limits as well as their own when it comes to playing. Except for the pack leader who honed her instincts from her pack leader, everyone else in the pack survives by constantly focusing on her. This would go on until they were mature enough to mate and have a pack of their own.
Domesticated dogs come in two basic types, the ones we get as puppies at about 8 weeks right before they would naturally venture out with Mom into the world, and rescues we often know nothing about that have been physically, mentally, and emotionally suffered at the hands of a cruel human world. Which dog better describes you? We are rescues too. In both cases we assume the role of a parent/pack leader. How good we are depending on several things. The first is the acceptance that love is not just a feeling, it’s an action. If all it took was the feeling of love anyone could be a great pack leader.
When people buy a reptile, they go crazy reading all they can on the specific type and all their needs. But due to our familiarity with dogs we figure we will just figure it out. Then we wonder why dogs develop unwanted behaviors. Nothing about having a human as a pack leader is natural to the dog…nothing.
Naturally the canine would live outside roam as a pack to find food and water while avoiding danger. Instead, the domesticated dog lives with us in a box 95% of the time. They are trapped with a species that in most cases does not spend a lot of time moving much more leading their movement. They would have a structure within the pack that developed through eye contact, movement, and touch where you always focus on your higher-ranking dog and respect his space to avoid being corrected. People constantly talk to and focus on them and give them the most attention when they are misbehaving. With a canine mind they are expected to make good decisions in a human world when most humans don’t make good decisions in a human world.
Whether you get a puppy or an older dog you are now responsible for everything in their lives from food, water, space, toys, and attention. You can become educated on the way the dog sees these things and use them to develop the best possible relationship with your dog, or you can just see what happens. The bottom line is that it all starts and ends with you.
Like any leader, you have to check your baggage at the door. It is no longer about you. This was what I realized when I got Odin seven years ago even that I didn’t know anything I know now. What I knew was that this puppy needed me to do everything with and for him. He was going to be a service dog and that meant I was the only one who would feed and walk him, plus his other cares. I was in a bad way, I was under employed, money was tight, Elizabeth was leaving for the Navy and my depression was crippling. I was ineffective as a man, husband, and father. The Lord used Odin to wake me up to something that I had known but forgotten from my time as a soldier and police officer and that was that success comes from one thing and that is habitually doing what you don’t want to do. I have always appreciated service. Unfortunately, when my service ended as a police officer, I had no mission. My priorities were all wrong. There were things I would do for those that I worked for and with, but especially those who worked for me. Odin was the spark that made it all crystal clear. My responsibility every day is to pick up my cross and serve first my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, then my family which includes Odin, my partner. The hardest thing to do is shed our selfishness. It is so easy to sit in a chair or lay in a bed and wallow about what we don’t have and what we can’t do, sit there and think about how we “feel”. The devil loves a stationary target. Out of everything the number one thing that helps me stay in recover and keep depression on the ropes is movement. That is why the foundation of Focus Based Canine Training is the loose lead walk. As I describe during classes, to a human it is just a walk. To the wolf that lives in your dog it is a hunt. A chance to use all of our senses to find resources and evade danger. The blessing/burden of leadership is that no matter what type of day your having, those in your charge must be led through this world. Your willingness to do and drive on in spite of how you feel sets the standard for those you lead. If you are always moving forward and looking up, they will to. They will know they are led, protected, loved and cared for. This is the power of the pack. Whether is people that are entrusted to you by the Lord or just your dog, take a page out of the Wolf’s book. Step out, put your nose in the air, take a deep breath and lead, and if you do this habitually you will stand out in a world of people who feel sorry for themselves, wring their hands and use the excuse of what they can’t do to do nothing.
The longest journey begins with a single step, put the lead one your dog (we don’t say leash, a leash attaches you to something and control can go either way). With a lead there is only one thing you can do and that is move forward. Be blessed- George