Our deepest human relationships are with those who we can just enjoy the little things in life with. One of the biggest reasons I love dogs so much is because they are so simple, not a character trait shared by many people. In fact, their entire life is made up of only five things I call the Canine Commodities: food, water, space, toys, and attention. The thing to understand is that only one of those five things, space, is up for grabs all the time. All behavior issues can be accredited to one of the commodities, but space is the foundation of it all. Let me explain. –
Even though it’s true that dogs do adapt to interact with humans, it will always be their second language. The primary way they communicate is with movement within spaces. The closest you can get to speaking fluent dog is developing the ability to effortlessly and consistently controlling any space that you and your dog share. There is no such thing as equals in the dog world. The vast majority of anxiety and other behavioral issues that dogs have stem from them being left to believe that they are in charge and therefore responsible. Like a kid with terrible parents, if they have felt like they have to fend for themselves, don’t expect them to come to you asking for permission to do anything.
The only thing a dog really owns is the space that they occupy, for a human example we see this in prison where different groups control things like phones and showers that are supposed to be common areas. Unless a new inmate is educated, they usually only find out they are “out of bounds” when they make the mistake of unknowingly going into that space. A onetime misstep will likely be tolerated with education and or a threat. By making people super conscious as they move, groups or individuals condition others to focus on them for permission before doing anything at all. This is why dogs cannot be allowed to believe that they own or possess anything. This is not cruel, in fact that allow them to relax knowing that they are not responsible for protecting anything, their owner, the higher-ranking dog is. Just as in my prison example, both people and dogs will have personalities ranging from those who really could care less to those who see the one attempting to control space as exactly the one they must confront. I deal with lots of men who are in recovery and have been in jail/prison as well as rescue dogs. What they both have in common is that even before ending up in prison or the rescue they lived on the streets where they had to fight for everything and letting others close meant they may try to take the little resources they had. For the same reason that those without a family are often drawn to gangs, dogs that have never been part of a pack are drawn to anyone who shows them through their actions that they are protected and cared for. So how do you show a dog this??
In a world full of people and dogs who never stop running their mouths, simply put a lead on the dog and lead them. No matter how they buck, roll, pull and fuss, remain calm by not becoming emotional. The second they stop, walk as far as you can until they put any tension on the lead. Be sure you are never putting the tension on the lead, if you do you are arguing with them, don’t argue. It is likely that you will be the first person that has ever not reacted to them by doing the same exact thing they were doing. When they are on a loose lead standing or sitting still next to you, give them all the praise you can muster. What you have done is shown them is that you are different than any other person they have ever met, you have boundaries and standards, there are things you will not tolerate in your space, and focusing on you instead of the environment gets them love and praise. Also, that when you are together you are in charge of everything, and they do not have to worry about a thing besides following you. This is what the rest of the world calls walking the dog, but we call taking the dog for a walk. In the eyes of the dog, you are hunting which includes looking for things to eat, avoiding danger, and otherwise covering ground together. While you’re doing this you don’t bark or go crazy because it would scare game away or let other predators know where you are. You communicate with eye contact (watching the higher-ranking dog’s movement) and touch.
To form a relationship with any dog you have to move with them with your leading. This small thing is actually the biggest things. Relationships are formed by going through life together. When your dog is walking next to you on a loose lead showing that it is a mental not physical connection you are speaking dog as loud as possible.