There are several dog groups on Facebook that I can see but am unable to comment. Probably because like in many situations where people are having problems, they want to have their nonsense cosigned, but are not really interested in fixing the issue because it becomes part of their identity. Face it, a lot of the time people just suck and the physiological and physical injures we inflict on each other are reprehensible. Especially if done when you’re young, this can have a lifelong impact. Very often, without intentionally doing so, people project their issues onto their dogs, who already come with their own baggage.
It’s no secret that here at MCS we train people not dogs. As soon as you get a dog it’s not about you, it’s about them. Everyone loves a good rescue story, but as someone who has lived with PTSD and depression for over 22 years, there was no shortage of people who felt sorry for me, but few offered help in the form of love and accountability. People rescue a dog and try to do for the dog what nobody did for them, protect them. This is the opposite of helpful. Dogs are pack animals and are happiest / healthiest when they have a leader who is calm, consistent, non-emotional, and relaxed to focus on. If someone was spending the weekend at your house, upon their arrival, you would take them through the house and show them where everything was. People bring a dog into their house and the family stares at it. When anyone, especially a group stares at a dog, the dog interprets this as them looking to them for them to do something. This produces anxiety. Often when I arrive at people’s houses, they let me in, and I move to the family room and the dog is barking at me and they are telling the dog to stop. The people are usually standing, and I tell them they can have a seat unless they typically stand up to talk to someone sitting in their living room. They smile awkwardly and sit down. Then the dog relaxes. If you’re always looking at your dog, you’re telling them it is their decision to make. Most rescues have not had a canine leader since Mom. Their life has been full of having to fend for themselves. Well trained dogs often make bad decisions in the human world. A dog without a leader and training is unfortunately condemned to make lots of bad decisions in a human world.
Some of what follows is likely contrary to what most people do. My suggestion is that when you pick up your rescue you are by yourself. Don’t talk to them, they are likely scared and not sure of what is going on. Think about what you say before you say it. If there is one thing I could ban people from saying to dogs, it is, “it’s OK”. Has anyone ever told you it’s OK when it was really OK…no. We tell dogs and people it is OK because watching them makes us feel bad and we want to do something. You will notice that when people say it’s OK they get caught on a loop and say it over and over. The reason we do this is because of our inability to physically help, so we feel the need to say something to self-soothe ourselves. All the dog hears is someone talking to them in a very anxious tone. If possible, just rest your hand on the dog or pet them softly all without looking at them. This will cause them to focus on your touch and look at you instead of trying to figure out the situation. Move slow, any noise or movement you make, the dog will be trying to interpret. People often overwhelm them.
When you get them home, grab the end of the lead and walk putting just enough tension on the lead so that it is easier for them to step forward rather than backward. When you face away, you are showing leadership. When you face them and pull, you are showing a lack of confidence. Do not rush this. The most exciting thing is when you feel the dog take that first step forward, it means they are choosing you over fear. Do the same thing into the front door, then lead them through the entire house based on where they will be allowed to go. They naturally follow. Dogs that typically won’t leave the yard will follow another dog out. The reason that we are so successful is because we hit the control/alt/delete button on the dog without any consideration on their background relying on the fact that anything bad that happened to them is yesterday’s news and cannot be altered or changed. Instead of humanizing them, we work with the 95% of their DNA which is Wolf. We only talk canine and show the handlers how to do the same thing. It’s pretty simple, either you or the dog has to be in charge. People in a human world have a very hard time making decisions that are not stressful, add stress and they shut down. Why would you expect a dog to be relaxed and calm when they have a handler that is easy to freak out. You have to control yourself before you can control a dog. This is a form of meditation that can transform your life.
Once you show him around, offer some food and water by placing them on the ground. Give them 15 minutes to eat. If he doesn’t finish, pick it up and put it into the next serving. Personally, I will let a dog go three to four days without eating as long as they are drinking and urinating. It is important that when the dog is hungry, they think of you and not the food. This is how a pack works. By controlling movement and space, the higher dog conditions the lower ranking dog to constantly focus on them to avoid getting corrected. In return, the higher-ranking dog leads them to food and water. When a human fills that role, they provide toys and attention. The dog gives up nothing by following and instead is lead to food, water, space, toys, and attention, while at the same time being lead away or protected from danger. If you’re not accepting the role, the dog has no choice but to try to, this causes separation anxiety.
Dogs spend 95% of their lives in the house, but people are obsessed with obedience outside the home. If your dog is not conditioned to focus on you within the confines of your home, they will never focus on you once the door is open much less going outside.
Once you spend a few hours in the house with your new pup, tell the rest of your family and friends to just come over and totally ignore the dog unless they come up to them. At this point, the dog has already focused on you during the trip home, out of the vehicle, and been shown around the house, and seen you provide food and water. Now as people enter, the dog is free of having to make decisions about each new person and can simply focus on you and watch your reaction, or more importantly your lack of reaction. The dog is in a new pack and naturally would watch from a distance and look for patterns of hierarchy before moving in. When a bunch of people approach the dog, bend down, stare the dog in the eyes, and offer them food. It can be very overwhelming. That dog will feel backed into a mental corner. They say it takes about 90 days for a dog to relax in a new home. That can be expedited by showing the dog instead of waiting for them to figure it out. Too many people focus on the environment, instead of who is in charge. You can to an extent control things in your house and on your property, however you cannot control anything outside your front door. The only thing that is consistent is it will be you and your dog together and the way you communicate with them. Much of traditional dog training is based around trying to get the dog to focus on you after they are in a full-blown behavior. MCS teaches focused based training which is conditioning your dog to focus on you in every situation so that the behavior never starts. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure they say.
What sparked this article was a post on Facebook talking about people that have reactive rescues and walk very early in the morning or late at night to avoid other people and dogs. That’s great until your dog has to go to the vet or groomer. What then?
As someone who has dealt with service-related PTSD and depression for over 22 years, I can tell you that avoiding my triggers only made it worse when I couldn’t. Only after years of following the Lord and therapy, did I realize that by avoiding all the bad stuff brought on by exposure to my triggers, I was missing out on all the good stuff in life that makes life worth living. The day it really changed was when I got Odin. I wanted him to be my service dog and knew that I now had to put him first and socialize him. I did so, not by watching to see his reaction to things, but by showing him to focus on me instead of reacting to anything. The most important thing was to not get into the habit of carrying him around. This habit can create aggression by placing the dog in front of you when they are already afraid. They can’t run away, so all they can do is be aggressive. You see this more with smaller breeds. The first weekend I had him I found myself at a high school football game, somewhere I would have never gone without him, thus was the beginning of MCS Dog Training and Focused Based Canine Training.
Now after almost 7 years and 3500 dogs later, 85% of my clients only need a 1 hour session. The background of the person and the dog has no impact on what I teach. It works because it is natural and simple. I jokingly say I am bi-lingual. I speak canine and human. The more you learn to communicate in canine, the happier and calmer both you and your dog will be. It will allow you to face anything together. Be the leader your dog needs you to be. Remember dogs communicate in eye contact (watching the higher ranking dog, movement, and touch). Talking is a very valuable tool in dog training as long as you only use it for praise and commands (meaning a word that the dog is conditioned to relate to a physical action), not correction. This also allows me to work with several dogs at the same time.
Don’t waste your time and money on someone to train your dog. Find a trainer that understands it is you who needs to be trained.