This post is dedicated to the loving memory of my dear friend Jackie Quoss
What is amazing to me is not that I have trained over 3500 dogs in the past six years all without talking and treats, but rather the fact that I have been welcomed into that many homes. I am a big, bald headed, bearded, tattooed guy. I have been described as big, scary, intimidating, and aloof. As a matter of fact, some clients have used some of those descriptors when telling friends about me before adding that I am just a giant Teddy Bear.
The two things that Jesus has used to change my life have been dogs and recovery. My friend and mentor Bob Allen from Life’s Beacon says, “All we need is Jesus and a few good men”, and it all starts with one…. Jesus. I only found both after I had tried it all on my own. After spending 17 years riddled with service related PTSD, I was abusing alcohol and Xanax. In my wretched isolation, I was numb to the pain, but also numb to joy. Then through my daughter Elizabeth, an Olde English Bulldogge named Odin came into my life and changed everything. Everything. Those years of self-medication, isolation, and suicidal thoughts were taken from the Lord and fully restored and continued to build upon every day.
Giving all the credit to Jesus, this is what has happened. Over 3500 times, people’s dogs have gotten to a point where they were so unmanageable that they realized they needed outside intervention. Through other clients, Facebook, or the internet, they found me and read the reviews about what I had done for other people. The majority will admit that they had their reservations that I could because “their” dog was so bad, much less be able to do it within an hour. Like us with our hurts, habits, and hang ups ranging addiction to trauma, they thought their dogs were unredeemable. Many, realizing that they needed help, had tried other trainers and programs, but they didn’t work. They were at the end of their rope. This is what is needed for real change to occur.
When I show up to the house, I bring the power of the Holy Spirit with me. I don’t bring anything new; I only bring to light what was there the entire time, with any dog regardless of background or breed. The first thing I do is have them put the Immediate Correction Lead on the dog. I don’t do it because the dog not knowing me would only become anxious and run away. Then I take it by one finger as the dog usually freaks out, clawing, pulling, whining, and sometimes biting. All I do is hold the lead without any response at all. When the dog stops, I stand up, adjust the lead, and begin to lead the dog away. Most struggle to some extent. Surprisingly, the dogs that are the most scared and damaged relax the fastest. For the first time, they did not have someone buy into their behaviors used to avoid feeling sorry for them, but rather lead them forward.
The worst thing you can do is just feel sorry for someone. Everyone that suffers is sitting in a dark closet to keep everyone else out. There is usually no shortage of people who open the door, let the light shine in, then close it, sit down next to them, and tell them it is going to be OK. That is worthless. If you want to help someone, open the door, let the light shine in. If they put their hand out, never pull, but lead them out with you facing forward. Grabbing someone’s hand and pulling them fails every time. When you move forward in an unknown direction, they will focus on you instead of the things around you. Having one thing to focus on is key. There are all types of ways to do recovery, as for me and my “few good men” the only way that works is Jesus. Focusing and following Jesus has allowed us to lead others to a new life.
Dogs are pack animals that have no illusions of being able to do it by themselves. Like children with parents who do not take responsibility for their kids leaving them to figure it out on their own, that is what dogs do and then we don’t like their choices. They will give into whatever seems exciting, running out a door, stealing food, etc. This provides immediate gratification but can lead to deadly consequences. Giving into whatever feels good with no self-control is a recipe for destruction for people and dogs. The Lord provides us with wisdom and knowledge that if heeded allows us to avoid many of life’s pitfalls. The more you submit and give up your free will to follow Jesus, the easier life gets, no matter the circumstances.
Before heading outside with the dog, I walk them on a loose leash in the house. I am careful not to look at the dog but walk as if I don’t have a dog with me, relaxed and focused only on where I am going. Soon, the dog realizes that if they focus on me that they can avoid all tension even when making sharp turns. Before going out into the world, I want them to understand that no matter what happens, no matter what they see, smell, or hear, not to be troubled because I am in control. Once outside, you lose all control over the environment, who knows that you will pass. As you pass distractions, such at other dogs barking at them, cars, whatever, and they overreact, putting tension on the lead, before looking back up at you and immediately going right back to the loose lead. The more you lead them through without wavering, the more they trust in you. Your relationship becomes so strong that they trust you in all situations, no matter how overwhelming or threatening they are. They can focus on circumstances or you. The choice is yours, but only one of those things provide a fulfilling life. You make the choice for your dog, but only you can make the choice for your life.
As soon as that dog follows you, they are a new creation, regardless of what has happened in past. The minute you confess that you are a sinner and that Jesus Christ died on the cross to pay for your sins, you are a new creation. There is no way to lead without following first.