One of the most common yet least discussed topics I encounter is the relationship between dogs, moms, and kids. About 85% of my clients are women, many of whom have children or grandchildren. There’s an unspoken concern that lingers in the back of every mom’s mind: What if the dog bites one of the kids?
Moms have a natural intuition, much like dogs, but too often hesitate to act on it, fearing they’ll be seen as overreacting. But when it comes to the safety of your child, it’s not overreacting—it’s being proactive.
The Real Danger: Your Own Dog
Most people assume dog bites happen when a child encounters an unfamiliar dog. However, the majority of dog bites happen at home, from the family dog.
Why? Because when parents encounter a dog outside their home, they’re more alert, more cautious, and more aware of how their child interacts with the animal. At home, familiarity can breed complacency, and that’s when accidents happen.
After nearly 30 years of marriage, I’ve learned that ignoring my wife’s “Momma Sense” can lead to trouble. That same instinct can help prevent serious incidents between dogs and children.
“Daddy’s Dog is Mommy’s Problem”
When I first started MCS, I wrote an article called “Daddy’s Dog is Mommy’s Problem.”
In many households, if Dad picks the dog, he often chooses a big, strong, cool-looking breed. But owning a dog isn’t just about appearances—it’s about daily responsibility. And often, when the reality of daily care sets in, Mom becomes the default caregiver, just as she does for the kids.
Historically, in many Native American cultures, women not only raised the children but also trained the dogs. They had a structured, no-nonsense way of doing things, ensuring everything got done efficiently. That structure is just as important today when it comes to managing dogs in a home with children.
How Dogs Learn and React
Dogs, like humans, struggle to stay calm around things they haven’t been exposed to. If they don’t have leadership, they react purely on instinct. Just like children, they need to be shown how to behave.
- If a dog reacts inappropriately, consistent correction is key.
- Correction without instruction is confusing and unfair.
- Dogs that lack clear leadership will try to control their environment, which can lead to dangerous behaviors around kids.
One of the core principles of Focused-Based Canine Training is ensuring the dog understands they do not own any space—not even the ground under their feet. This mindset shift is critical in preventing aggressive behaviors, especially around children.
The Reality of Dog Behavior and Kids
Moms often fear their child being bitten by the family dog. If you notice your dog staring, growling, showing teeth, getting between you and your child, or acting tense around kids, seek professional help immediately.
Dogs communicate differently than humans. If a dog fixates on a child, they may see them as a challenge to their authority. Without intervention, this situation will not improve on its own—it will escalate.
The Canine Commodities
Dogs value five things:
- Food
- Water
- Space
- Toys
- Attention
A dog will see you as either a provider of these things or a provider of access to them.
- If you simply give your dog food, space, and attention, they see it as theirs.
- If you control access, requiring them to follow commands before receiving these things, they understand that everything belongs to you first.
This distinction is critical in preventing dominance-related aggression, especially towards children.
A Common Scenario: When the Dog Controls the Space
A common issue I see is dogs becoming territorial over their food.
For example, a family had a two-year-old Labrador that was generally well-behaved. One day, their baby walked by while the dog was eating, and the dog growled. To prevent conflict, they started feeding the dog in his crate. Soon, he began lunging at the baby through the crate. Eventually, they started feeding him in a separate room entirely.
This is a perfect example of why you don’t negotiate with a dog’s bad behavior. Instead of learning boundaries, the dog learned that he controlled the space around his food.
Through training, we reconditioned him to understand that the baby outranked him because Mom and Dad said so. The result? A safer household for everyone.
Rescue Dogs and Children
Older rescue dogs, especially those who haven’t been around children, often struggle with the unpredictable movements and high-pitched noises of kids. This can make them feel trapped, triggering reactive nipping or biting.
Dogs, just like people, can misinterpret their environment based on fear or past experiences. That’s why controlled exposure and proper leadership are crucial in preventing problems.
What Can You Do?
- Be aware of your dog’s body language around children.
- Don’t wait to see how the dog will react—establish leadership first.
- Ensure your dog understands that you control all resources—food, space, toys, and attention.
- Expose dogs to children in a structured way, ensuring they focus on their handler for guidance.
Final Thoughts
Every dog I work with falls on a spectrum from wellness to recovery.
- Wellness: Training before issues arise.
- Recovery: Training after dangerous behaviors develop.
The sooner you establish leadership and structure, the safer your child and your dog will be.
If you have a dog you “just can’t trust” around kids, don’t wait until something happens. Contact us today at 683-207-3820 to prevent a serious incident before it’s too late.